For better or for worse

My mother was driving with me in the front passenger seat, Jeff behind the driver's seat, and Elliot right behind me. Coming from visiting my aunt, uncle and cousin in Indiana, we stopped at Rally's so mom could purchase a chicken sandwich. The fast food joint was in the same shopping area as my very first place of employment, Winn-Dixie. I recalled the time I was on my break and I ventured over to Rally's to eat where I was approached by a Middle Eastern man, trying to win my affection. I silently escaped once he finished talking to me and went to order his meal. Afterwards, I began to think of my time at the grocery store. At the end of my first day I wanted to quit. I didn't like going out in the blistering heat fetching carts that were not returned to the rightful cart returning area. I didn't like escorting shoppers to their cars if all of their purchases were in the shopping baskets. Cleaning the women's restroom made me gag everytime I mopped and emptied the trash. In fact, the only thing I enjoyed doing, besides clocking out, was what we called go backs. Go backs were simply putting back items that were out of place. But I enjoyed doing that duty because I was not bothered by virtually anyone, my bosses or even the customers. Though I wanted to quit after my first day, my mother didn't allow it, and I ended up chasing carts and fetching cigarettes for customers for nearly two years.

Soon I began to think of all the jobs that proceeded Winn-Dixie, and then it hit me-jobs are like relationships. Most of the time, we are attracted to one particular job field, we work hard at it to stay in the relationship, and at times we may curse at it, or love it like we have never loved before. Sometimes we take a break from the relationship, some longer than others. Many of us are married to our jobs, others want to depart, or divorce it. And sadly, there are the times that the jobs leave us, or kick us out to the curb. But there is a common theme to each circumstance after one employment has been finished. Learning. We either learn from our prior relationships, or jobs, or we don't learn and continue to search for that job that was similar to the last. I have been attracted to the same kind of job, all through my resume, and I'm learning to see what else is out there.

Customer service isn't for me. I've felt as though I was abused by these jobs, mentally and physically, and the changes it made inside me were not for the better. I became angry, frustrated, tired, and urging to get out of the relationship. But in order for me to get out, I had to search for another relationship to jump into. Often there were no jumping into anything. I was single. And during my time as being single, I should have taken myself aside and gave me a pep talk in learning how to get out of my comfort zone and search for an entirely different relationship, or job field. I don't have to please others and continue on in a relationship I no longer want to be a part of. I must break the cycle myself and find joy in the new relationship. Writing and I have been flirting for quite some time now, and we think we want to take it to the next level. Getting to know each other on a more personal level. It's a brand new, yet scary relationship that I know in my heart could be the one for me. But relationships are 50/50-give a little, take a little. It will be hard, but I'm ready, and willing to learn.